Wednesday, July 1, 2015

You Can Never Go Back Home Again, But You Can Always Come And Visit...Or How To Create A Home For Yourself That You CAN Always Go Back To

Post by Justin Hanvey

8 years ago I came to Virginia Beach with some friends of mine and Naomi who I was dating and not married to yet, and Naomi and I visited my mom. I wrote back then of how hurtful it was to find my room completely changed and the house itself so different. I guess 8 years changes a person, or perhaps I've healed quite a bit. I don't feel that hurt anymore. I like how mom has decorated the place. There's little plaques all over the house with quotes about dance, there's a lot of white paint, and swirls and flowers, it's very much -her-. I realize now she's created a sanctuary, a safe home, a place where she finds peace. She's created a home in the wake of so much brokenness.

I think it's true that when you grow up it's hard to come back home. Sometimes we have to by necessity, but the hope is we don't stay there long. But home should be a place we can always come and visit. Mom has let us stay here generously every time we visit Virginia Beach and been a wonderful host even when she has her own plans. And she's made us feel at home. It's not the same, but it doesn't have to be. It's still home because home is where the family is (as my wife beautifully said the other day). I've visited my aunt's place on the way too, and it felt just as much a home.

I hope someday Naomi and I can create a home like that together that family and friends can feel welcomed and at home in. I know we will. I don't have the American Dream of a big house or nice cars or whatever, but I do want a safe space where others feel safe and loved too. That's important to me. It's important to have a place where my wife can come home and de-stress from her day of work, and relax. It's important to me that we have a guest room where anyone that needs a bed can have a place to lay their head on whatever journey they're on. It's important to me that my children have a big back yard to explore, and enjoy their childhood in. It's important to me that there's laughter, and freedom to cry, and freedom of self expression, and also personally, a place I can go to be alone and be just me for a while.

So many don't have a home, and I hope they all get to have that. Some do have a home, but not a Home, per se. And I hope they find that.

Mom's made a Home perfect for her, and I am glad I can come to visit. Enjoying getting to make a Home with Naomi and looking forward to the continuing of that.

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